Time: 1030pm
Date: 27 September 2007


Shit shit shit...
Im so fed up with my Life...

Why does I am so stupid of repeating what that's I already promised??
What will my Baby will think of me again after all this???
I hurt him...
I hurt him again..
Am I a useless gal for him???
Is it always my fault...
Why do I always be in a situation like this...
Why YA ALLAH???
Help me...Please...

Im scared...
Im feeling all scared...
I broke down and crying to death till now...
When I talked with my guy, he is also...Crying more..
Im scared..Im scared what will My Harinder think of me after all this...




I hope he still am normal just like I am with him..
Im scared YA ALLAH...
Help me PLEASE...




YA ALLAH...
Please help me...I don't know why and what's wrong with me if Im the one who is the mistake...

I would do anything for him...For My Harinder...




I have no other reasons or anything to proof then maybe that's the only way for me to proof...
I am all ready but I know it's a big sin...

But will My Baby is the same as me???




???


IM SCARED...
IM SCARED...
IM SCARED...

What and how will he thinks of me after all this???

BABY...
BABY!!!



Yes Baby, I really mean it...

I really don't know what u gonna think of me after all this..

Im SCARED...




I LOVEU ALWAYS AND FOREVER...
Take care =' (

SaLaam

Time: 0251pm
Date: 27 September 2007


Haiz...Am right now like arguing with him again...
Shit la...
WHy does sometimes, it happens unpeace between us...
???
When everything is ok then suddenly happens one more things...
And that's it...
Why why why YA ALLAH...

Why is My Life is like this???

Why & what's wrong with me...??
Or isit???

It's ok....

Time: 0244pm
Date: 27 Sepmtember 2007


Movie : Karam
Song : Tinka Tinka
((Tinka Tinka zara zara hai roshni se jaise bhara) - 2 Every little element appears to radiate
Har dil main armaan hote to hai - 2 Every heart has a desire bas koi samjhe zara) - 2 Oh, for someone who'd realise (Dil pe ek naya sa nasha cha gaya An unknown intoxication grips my heart kho raha tha jo khwaab vo laut aa gaya) - 2 A fading dream lights up again (Yeh jo ehsaas hai jo karaar hai This feeling, this consolation .. kya issi ka hi naam pyaar hai) - 2 Is this love? Pootche dil thumke zara Question my skipping heartbeats Tinka Tinka zara zara Every little element hai roshni se jaise bhara Appears to radiate Har dil main armaan hote to hai - 2 Every heart has a desire bas koi samjhe zara Oh, for someone who'd realise Tinka Tinka Tinka Tinka


Rhya

Time: 0141pm
Date: 27 September 2007


Haiz...Life is ok...Great like before...
My guy is behaving normal like before...That's good to feel and Im feeling relieve and much more better...
Haiz...Time flies so fast...
Looks like My guy will not be coming down next week...
Everything that has planned with Aunty, Umi, Sofy, Bro, My frens all ,some has to be cancelled...
But hopefully, he will really come on the 26th November...
Well...Actually his cousin is getting married and that's why and before that it's Diwali...
Haiz, his parents wouldn't allow him to go even for 2 weeks and before Diwali he can come back but naa....It's ok...I will know what to tell everyone...
But yes it's true, everyone thoughts, opinion gonna be very shakey towards him after knowing about this but My baby says that he's gonna proof to everyone...And that's good...
He's gonna come and yes this time it's for real...

Of course Im very hurt because, I already quit my job and planned everything with my frens and cousins and aunty and umi but what to do...
Haiz...Looks like I will take part-time job before he comes...
So that I can at least top-up my savings...
Pity me...

Haiz...9 more weeks to go...

Hhmm...I don't know why but I am just feeling uneasy since just now...
Hopefully, whatever I feel is just a part of syaitan's disturbance...

Now my time is gonna be very boring and gonna count the days again...
9 more weeks is equal to 63 more days...

But I can celebrate Haj with him and yes he also mentioned New Year too...
Hhmmm...Ok ok...Hopefully it will come True... Insya'ALLAH (AMIN)

Ok la...Next week Im gonna buy my traditional Malay wears...
Gonna buy 2...Yea....
1st day - Gold and 2nd day - Green...

Hhmmm, k la...Need to write my baby's mail...
He's gonna check it soon later...

Take care all...
Stay happy always ok...
LoveMyHarinder aloads...

SaLaam