Time: 0710am
date: 24 Spetember 2007


I hurt him alot...
Yes My Baby...
And right now...Im scared...Scared of losing him...

Actually I was nearly losing him already...
It was so fast for him to say will not bother me anymore but everything just changed...
He said it once before hanging up and then he SMSed after the first call...
Everything at that moment...At that very seconds...
Something makes me feels so killing...
I feel as if Im gonna die...
Without repenting and so on...

I wasn't able to control myself...But I cried out of fear and just broke down uncontrolly..
Sofy was all shocked that my stupidness woke her up...
She was scared that everyone will be awake because of me...But I don't care...
I didn't give up and don't want to because I LOVE HIM...
And this not where OUR LOVE WILL STOP...
Our Love is so strong that it must not be effected with this stupidness...

I know I hurt him but am more hurt to see him like this...
I already lose him but I pleaded and beg him to give me one more chance...
Because I just couldn't imagine myself what will happen to me...
Im scared...
He will talk to me tomorrow...And now...Is already the day...
I don't know how to even talk to him...
Im very ashame of myself...

I can't even sleep...I just can't stop crying...
My eyes is doubling swallon pain...
My face is so thick and red...
I just can't stop thinking...
So many things just migraining my mind...
I think...I might go crazy sooner or later...

Yes...Im very fedup with myself...
I HATE MYSELF...
I M SO STUPID!!!

But honestly, I really didn't even mean it...
I hope he really trust me...
Yes, I hope he really believes me...
Because I don't even mean it...

Im scared...
IM SCARED YA ALLAH...
Help me...
Please...
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully My Harinder will be able to give me chance...

If not, I will never be in peace...

Im scared...
Im scared of Losing him...

The dreams which I already saw clearly...
And everything...
And everything...
What will happen...
And our Love which we both had always promise in our hearts to Love each other and what does each other really means to...
How far can our Love goes and how strong it is...
All that...
Everything...
Im scared...
I don't want it to be vanish just like that...
I don't want it to fade away just like that...

No.......NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE HELP ME YA ALLAH...

Im scared...Im SCARED...

Im scared to face any consequences that will happen which is not I want or just can't imagine for...

I really don't know how he's gonna sound like later when talking to me...

Im just thinking what will My Harinder thinks of me after all this...

YA ALLAH...

Please forgive me...With all my sins...
And yes...The pain which I have hurt MY HARINDER...
YA ALLAH...
I don't want to LOSE HIM...
PLEASE HELP ME...

Im scared...

I really can't write any more longer...
I will go crazy later on...
This migraine really hurts me as if my head gonna burst sooner or later...
I think it's better for me to seat alone and solve it myself...
Just wait for the time to call him...

It's all my fault...
It's my biggest mistake ever...
YA ALLAH...
Ashtaufirg'llah...

ILOVEUVERYMUCHBABY...

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME EVER...
PLEASE.......
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I BEG U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!