Time: 1037pm
Date: 04th May 2007
Im very sad and regret with myself sometimes because I think I have made with a wrong choice of frens...I mean...in Life...We ought to choose...Coz thers a choice...
Sumtyms I think...The biggest mistake I have made is that accepting a fresnhip with guys...I had to choose and go tru on them again and again...
Im sorry to say this but even my own bestfren..Sumtyms I like regretting...But I don't know why my heart can't and don't want to lose him...
I stil patience adn this patience has exceeded the limitations and its like a ' forcing patience' towards him...See..He just told me that he will be in NS at 16th July...And see...Its like 2 months from now...He gets Army...He really don't care about me...Anymore...Not anymore...I feel so sad...Im just alone...I had no one to talk...I have no one now...Only ALLAH...
I wish I had met Shariffudin M R...I just want to spent every of my time with a guy who appreciate me...I know it takes time for me to get tru him...To get through this...Oh Ya ALLAH..Y this has to happen to me...???
I will take it as part of this Journey in Life...I just wish Jaspal will be with me everytime when I need a fren...He ask for a bestfren and I treasure him but this is wat his bestfren means...Its ok...I can even leave or live for him...But just don't want to let him go...He just belong to me...I hope he will find a very good girl and will tell me...I hope every of his secrets he will tell me..Like how he promise and will say to tell me...
I will wait for this very moment from him...
I just respect for he wants to be...Sometimes , its hard to understand guys with a 'not really interested' in a gal or lady...Because...I believe that every guy needs a gal to be in his Life...At least there will be one...So , Im wondering if its true that Jaspal has no gal but he is still in contacting with his 2 years true Love X...
I really was not told a clearly view of his love story...Well..isit Im the one who is over or isit I just giving him too much way ordy...
Isit this is the way of bestfren...We are like 3 months of bestfren...Oh...Maybe...I think my loved said was all right...He was just fooling around...???
well...From wat I received was...He had a very 'bad type looking face'...
Haiz...But I dont want to lose him...Maybe it takes time but then...Well..Its hard to type it off...
I believe that...Until now , if Im with him, my SMR will be coming late to me...I promise if this is the good for me which I can get my Shariffudin M Raffi...I am always prepared to lose him...Because other reasons which is factly was that...We are like not wat we used to be...So no point..The bangle I bought for his b'day was also...Haiz...I has even minus 1 but yet its already 2+ weeks since we last met...Havent had the time to give him because of his busy...Wat to do...No time for a bestfren??? I have to understand this...And will understand...Coz...Im his bestfren...
But y,,,Should I sacrifise myself for a guy like him???
Does he really have a feelings like how am I having towards him???Sincere???Faithful???Deserve???Happy???Fedup???
Even I myself is confused with this questions that appear in my mind...
Help me YA ALLAH...
I let it be to u..Whatever happen for now, I believe that's the good for me or even better...
Insya'ALLAH(AMIN)
Till here then...
Need to rest...
take Care all...
Good nite...Sweet dreams...
SaLaam...
Rabia
=) Life is Full of Colours! at : 9:01 PM