Time: 0117pm
Date: 08 may 2007



Where were u when I need a fren???
Why u called urself my bestfren???
Why don't u care at least to talk to me once a week at least???
What's the wrong had I done with u???
What's the changing that u suddenly so different towards me???
Whom is the other girl which made u change out of a sudden???
Why can't u share at least a piece of breathe towards me???

Was it anything which u think that will be good or what by this way of relationship???

Don't u feel that our ties are not bonding , as not like usual and it's like shaking and aparting time by time...???
Why...Why...Why...
What's the use of doing this???

-I understand that u r just too busy...But there's time for another fren of urs...I know guys and girls is different...Don't compare...But u urself had lost ur so called ' true love' so u r trying to do this on others or wat???
-I don't blame u or putting words in ur mouth...Well..that's not my intention of whatever but then...Can u just feel it that how much I have cared for u???
I have cried for u??? I have patience for u???
This is all because of bestfrenship...Our bestfrenship...
U r the one who started it all but please don't u break it off...
If u knows u r going to break it off, why started it on???
I just keep asking WHY and WHAT and WHO and WHERE were u when I need someone...???
Why why why????
Because u r just my bestfren...I swear I will never LOVE u but to LOSE u, I am afraid that...So please...Distance is not the problem but CARE is the problem...

Do u still CARE for me as much as I CARE for you???
Do u ever feels that our bestfrenshipness is getting different???
Do y know why I oftenly contacted u lke usual???
Do u know how was my condition without hearing ur everyday contact???
Do u think that I and U will last forever???

U know what..The answer is all in U...Yes u my dearest , cool , besty JASPAL!!!
It's all I have to ask u...
But since u r busy...I am afraid this besty if urs is disturbing u...So, to SMS u..I think more and further...Whether u will help me or yes...I forget that u r not good with words...So, I might be wasting your time right???
Well...I am not intention to put words in ur mouth but then it's the fact...So y the hell am I wasting my time and urs???
If BESTFREN means it all...Then , it's not wasting time...U would at least cheer me up...From sad to calm...Then so on...
Yes...Maybe...U had found someone else or ur 'X-Loved 1s' had came back???
Or maybe u need a time to rest with ur frens or maybe...U r just in LOVE with me and trying to avoid it by making this way...Well..that's what my mum told me...
I myself, has alot of questions with a different answers...But..The only fact answer I gain is to talk out with u...How to talk when u r busy???
Always...
I just don't want to disturb u...That's all...that's why I am left like this...
All I want is to have a stable relationship with u like how it usual live...
Can u please...Meet me for the last time before u go for ur NS?
Because I can feel that U will be the one missing me like how I had always been missing u...Trust me...That's Life...
U will understand once u miss me like how crazy, dying am I missing u...
I care for u...I care for u...
And this will remain till I met a guy whom will appreciate and worth of my caring...Because I just can't stop care for u...Lead ur way...What u like...
Hoenstly, everyday...I always listened to the Vermillion song..Because the voice of the sings...I heard is U...
The melody of the songs, I just can felt ur here...
And the lyrics...I just understand how am I supposesd to care and patience with u...
I am crying Jaspal...Right now...Im telling u the truth...
I just feel sad...Don't u ever HATE me Jaspal...Because I believe u will see a different me one day...And u will fall for me...LOVE.....Trust me...Im going to prove to u...ALLAH knows everything...It's just a matter of time, patience and keep on trying...Because...Overall..It's the prayer I made...And will always pray for the best...
Writing a piece about...Makes me so relieve that I had prove to world and let it go all of my feelings...
But the answer is till with u...I just don't know howto start it and ask u for a 5 minutes of your time for me...
Yes...I am still crying and very sad...It's just...U, I need u badly...But u means so much to ur frens...U belong to them...And me...U want to know...
What u mean to me??? U want to know???
Yes...U r part of my 1/3 heart...Now its hard for me and it takes time for me to wipe of U from this 1/3 of my heart..I have to pray and be myself at strong...I know, if destiny had made it this way...There's sure an out for this way...
Its just not a matter of getting replacement...
Its a matter of my LIFE...
U r not whom I like...Whom I admire...Because u and me , we are so DIFFERENTS...No even a BREATHE of SIMILARITIES...
What can describe us???
What can us be?
What match are we destiny is?
I don't have the answer and I'm not sure u...But whatever happens...I will not let go off u...because I belive it might takes time..And hopefully throughout that time...I will meet a new one which will never as a chance to replace u...Want to know y...???
U have to ask me urself???
Think if u either can't even face me...Or don't want to call me...
Because...U will get different types of answer and that answer u will get is just like how I used to get answer from different types of questions coming from my mind adn my heart...
Jaspal...
There's a lot of differents between our hearts and minds...
So , u will get different answer from ur heart and ur mind...
Because, my Mind is thinking of that I'm just wasting my time with u...
But, my Heart is feeling I just won't be able to lose u...
I don't know why I'm typing this all out...But I hope...U will know...How much I care for u and how much u meant to me...
Yes , its 1/3 from my heart...
Its already appear ur name...And ur space...
Have I had some space inside ur Heart other than ur mother and grandmother???
Remember that Jaspal???
Once u told me that I will come after ur mother and ur grandmother???Ur two other gals besides me???Is it true???
I just can't try to believe...But my Heart is fighting against my Mind and feel it that is true...

Jaspal.....Jaspal...Jaspal...never in my Life whon I met a guy which I need him desperately...Oh, u r my besty and will always be...No matter what happen...
I will just be by myself...Think of u...Cries for u and always trust on u...

Even though if u found someone else or whoever has come back for u...
If u just ignore me for once...Please do at least talk to me so that I won't disturb u...Not even my feelings on u...I will never be like how I used to be until now, at this moment I'm typing- 2.03pm...
It's just a matter of Heart & U...So please...Tellme the truth so I know and I will feel happy...
Of coz I will cry because either I regret or I m so stupid...
But, I will smile as time passes by because my Heart, there will be no space for a guy like u , not anymore but for those who appreciate me and care for me like how I care for them...Then, will appear their name in my heart...
I promise that once we are not bestfren..We can be casual frens but then I hope there will be no other bestguyfren in my heart because to me...He has died...& NO ONE could ever replace him...Because the careness I get and cared for him as a 'fren', its hard to replace back to others...Only LOVE will come then...
I will always wish and pray for ou all the best...I love u my BESTY...
U r just cool like the way u r...

There are more which I will like to type it out but then...I'm not sure, is this just the begining...???

We are human beings...So I believe that we do make mistake...
I will take it as a mistake which I will never repeat it again so that's why I will never get a best guy fren again...
I just don't want things to repeat...


Once I had close my heart...Is when till my time is over...
So I will always let my Heart open...

But still u insist on knowing why must I and couldn't I get a new replacement of Bestfren...???Right???
U must be wondering right???
Because to me, the fact is that he had 'died'...But I wish he could come back for another chance...
ALLAH is kind...ALLAH knows well...So if he is really a good person in anyway...
ALLAH will give him chance to repent and if yes...There's always a space but it takes time...
Let it be his turn to prove to me...Then I will feel whether this guy have really prove to me that he cares for me like how I cared for him...

It's hard...It's pain...And my eyes is getting blur...
All I need is just a talk and a sincere answer from u...
Thats' all for now...
I hope u understand and feel...How am I feeling...
Thank u...
Take Care...
SaLaam
Rabia