Time: 0423pm
Date: 9 May 2007




Just now, I attended the ITE College West Graduation Ceremony...
Everything was ok...But just now, when I was at the auditiorum, I felt that Jaspal attend the ceremony too but then..Nope, it's just all part of my missing...
Haiz...I don't know why...The more I try to forget him as time pass by, the more I sometimes, like missing him...
Sometimes, my mother will saw the way how I react and behave...And sometimes, she will told me from what her feeling is like...I don't know how to type it out...
I hope, whatever she says is true...I just don't want to care about it anymore...
The more I care, the more my heart is in pain...
All question is beng unanswered by him because mostly, the questioned is for me to ask him but how to ask...I don't want to disturb him as he is very busy and other than that no mood , stress...Confused.....I also don't know he stresed and confused about what...No modd until today maybe ???
I really also don't know sometimes I like...*sigh*





Why...Why..Why...
Because I know, u wouldn't miss me...
I just in my own world...
No use or no point...

Now, I have know that sometimes...In this Life...By having a bstfren...






But...I just don't get it till now...Why can't I understand myself...
I don't know...I mean...Why am I still having some feelings for him because what's the point of having some feelings as in missing the person when the person is not into u...
U r just wasting ur time ryt...???
That's why I don't understand myself...
WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Help me YA ALLAH...
I only belong to Shariffudin Mohd Raffi but y am I behaving and having feelings like this...???
I am like so questioned and just don't know...
I know that somtimes maybe is the careness which I had gave to a guy never before in my Life...Well...Or isit the memories of all with him???
I just don't get it with myself...
I must admit that I miss u more than I can admit...
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
YA ALLAH, please help me...
& also please shows the truth...
I just care for him, concern...Because he is my bestfren...
I just don't want to lose him...
But then, now...I am not sure whether we are still bestfren or not...???
I just don't know...
As for myself...I don't know whether u r still my bestfren or not because...The way u misunderstand me and everything...I'm sad...I'm hurt...
I know that he sometimes, not good as in , in handling problems or what as he is not good in words but then...







U really thinks me as in I'm in Love with u...Don't always go for what others says...Always feel and follow what's in ur mind or your heart...
Like me, even though there's a saying " all men are the same" , I don't simply agree because everyone are born to be themselves and they have their own ways...
So, there's no comparing...
I just don't know why...
But for now, I not sure whether u will miss me like I do...
Without contacting with u...It feels as in...It's hard to live in...
I hope, one day, if we are destiny to be together again as in in contact with each other, I will tell u the truth...I let u know...But all is just that...






I really hope, u will understand...Insya'ALLAH(AMIN)

_____________________________________________________________________________________



Anyway..sometimes..The other thing is that I will cried for no reasons..By missing u..Suddenly, tears came out from my eyes and rolled down tru my cheek...
Sometimes, I realise that







Then, only I knew what was it...It's just was all of what u can't try out to be spoken...
But...Sometimes, it's just like that...
All happens just like that...
But for now, I am not sure whether I have lost u or isit this is a destiny...???
For whatever reasons it is...I will always pray and wish u the best in Life...
Also, if this is to affect our ties, I have to accept this goodbye...
Maybe, we both are meant for somethings else...Even though as frens...I will miss u...I will miss this first ever guy bestfren...
My heart will always be open...But all the matter is time...
Till here...
Take Care...
SaLaam
Rabia