Time: 0930 am
Date: 13 January 2007



I really can't understand what type of emotion, feeling am I feeling right now...
I just can't understand myself...I really feels for both of the good and bad side...
I hope he really feels for what I felt and feel for him till now...I just can't sleep and luckily, Thanks to ALLAH, I met two guys and we talk...One is Dev and other is Manesh...Both are pure Hindustani...But must let u know...I talked to Dev first and then, he really makes me feel relax..U know calm...Then the best thing was he knows how to speak Malay...Im was really quite glad to him...Then he gaves his opinion...I really appreciate it...Then after that, I called Manesh...He was damn serious funny man...Funny guy???Hey, doesn't that sounds like Dhoom 2- Ash called Hrithik???Hahahaha...his thoughts also I really appreciated it...before talking to the both of them, I talked to my close fren, Vani...I understand that she also have her own problem...But thanks Vani for sparing me the listening ear...If not, I would have gone crazy for no reasons...I mean...All of them have different opinons...Like I said peoples are born to be themselves, so there will be different opinions but some may be similarity...That's all...I really dont know...Yesterday night till 2am I cant sleep...Coz, the feeling I had for him was like, Imust msg him before I went to bed...That was also part of Manesh's opinion's but then, every though I played guess the choice by myself , it ended up telling yes to SMS him but I felt like not...So...I just went to bed... and trying to forget him slowly and as that I fell a sleep...So, when I woke up, just now, I can't really try to recall what am I dreaming of..But there was something as if it is importnt adn not so...I really can't understand...Why....Kyun yaar????Kyonki?????
I dont have the answer..that's why I need an option and opinion for u guys...Thank you so much guys...Thanx for your opinion...I promise to help u when u really in need...Mera vaada hai yeh...
Then, just now, when I woke up...I suddenly like thinking of him...The same situation that I felt yesterday...Feel of spending more time with him...But Im a girl anyway and eventhough in this millenium generation...Im not as fast as what u think these days girls would normally do for to get the guy she loves...
I always think far...Afraid u might be rejected, u r just in ur dreams...Or it can be true that the guy also have the same feeling as you and not u r just alone having it...I know that in my heart Im waiting for Mr SMR but then I dont know why...maybe this might be a test...See how patience I can be or maybe other???
Until now, thinking and feeling about this, I am now having headache...No way...Better take some panadols...I later have to work...I really next week...I can meet him...He will ask for me out...Just now, after a few plaing guess the choice with my mum, the answer was no all 1 and then the 3 times trying...But after bathing, I was still thinking of him...U know he is still stuck in my mind...I really can't understand why and for what reason am I thinking and missing him unconditionally...All I know was that I told my mum again and guess what did my mum said, she just asked me to SMS him and I did it but I told my mum that during this time, he might be sleeping...But really lah him...It was a first and for the very first time a guy I went out with is really like what I don't expect...But why am I really feel for him...I mean this feeling I really dont understand...My mum also was shocked...That too but not all my frens...Some only agrees with how the way he is...U know...I met Rahul and we are like as if we are like casual frens u know...That too within 5 days of knowing him, next day I met him...But then that was history...But this Rafi...Within 1 year of knowing him also including lost and contact again...It was like different from all the guys...I really have no idea what he thinks on me but all I can say was that, I just had a feeling & too till now which this type of feeling I has for him is never before in my Life...K, to be honest, L-I-K-E is a wording which I had used to other guys but to him...C'mon, it's not the L-O-V-E thing yaar...Its just a feeling which I mean from everything I never expect to have or feel..I get it u know...So, I have already SMS him and I think this opinion is from Dev but Dev ask me to wait about 1-2 days...But I just can't help it...All my mum said just sms him casually like a fren does...Sometimes, I feel regreted because of making him feel he was a fren to me...But I want to be serious like how he wants to be...All I know for now is just...Hope I can move on in My Life and he will reply my msg after he was and read myn...Insya'ALLAH(Amin)
All I hope is that and I really hope he will keep in touch with me...That's all I ask for....I mean if I were to tell u everything from how he SMSed me...U goona think very different...But after meeting him...The word L-I-K-E begins to have that signal on him...O.k...Mostly, people said I don't realise it but u know what...I think no..That will never happen the L-O-V-E thing will never happen...Like I said...All I need is just him.....ANd its not about that...I really dont know why...The more he never SMS me, the more Im missing...But when be with him, my heart feels like as if...WE are struggling towards one another...U know...What am I trying to say...I really dont know why am I feeling like this but then.....Right I hope he is awake and straight away msg me not just a question that I asked- Hi, good morning,..So how r u? Sorry if Im disturbing u early...-
that's all I SMSed him and my mum o.k...
So I really hope he will reply me, my SMS and like started a topic first...
I really dont know...To be honest, I really before and on the way meeting I only felt for him, he was a fren to me...But I reconsider it and started to feel more for him...I really have no idea...But some guys, girls just have to be the first move...Well...We see what happens...How far will this relationship with him going to be...How matters it is to me...What and why am I feeling for him every now here and then...Im very thankful because blogging makes u revealed and relieve everything that happen to u...Its like something which u r relating to one...
Somebody...Please help me...Im getting confused...This matter really am getting complicated...Or its just me???
I have no idea...Im blank now...K la...I need to rest before getting to work...Till here...
All the best...
Take Care...
Peace...
SaLaam...
Rabia